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"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."
'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is
-Your still ugly, Pass me another beer-
3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
A coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier just dies the once
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts
A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge
A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do?
Alcohol releases the inner retard in all of us...
Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems!
All generalizations are false
All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
Always tell the truth, even when you lie
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
Bad Spellers Untie!
Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof?!
There's a *NEW* Mexico?!?
I'm telling you ociffer, I'm not drunk!
Dain Bramaged.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken
I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect! ;)
Reality: An illusion due to lack of alcohol.
Roses are red, Violets Are blue, When god gave brains, Where the hell where you :|
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